Reflective Reflection

A moment of the past drama, when someone commenting the way I play my keyboard. Fast, haphazardly, forte! forte! But haphazardly.

"Why can't you play it slowly but steadily?" My partner sighed at that time. "Fast doesn't mean mastering. Many people could play their music fast. Those who can play slowly but sure? I'm still searching them."

Then the leader said, "I thought this reflects your psychology. The way you play your keyboard. It is also reflected when you are speaking in debate. The way you speak. Fast. (but 'belibet')"

Now people keep questioning, "What do you want to tell in this story? I don't get it," every time I tag them my fictions.

"Read. Till the last full stop." The only thing I could say.

A moment later, either those people keep the misunderstanding or laughing, saying, " that's what you mean! But you know...the first impression I get is far from what you've said."

"It's OK." I said. "People keep misunderstanding about me even in real life. Let's say I'm used to it." That's the only thing I could do. Accepting. And make it balance by looking for a way to minimize the misunderstanding. I should realize it too. That I'm not alone in this creepy narrow world. I should adjust myself too...

However, though I still filter what people said about me, I prefer use my own reflection. Keep contemplating, so even when people say negative things about me, I'm not surprised anymore. Coz I've realized it minutes faster!

My own reflection. Though far from perfect... But it's good for my health. Really good. Much better than keep using other's...

"Guys. Thank you for being my alter egos, Amigo!"

Now I wonder. Is this what is called by "internal locus of control"?
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